Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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