but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
