im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
