Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
40s are totally the cure
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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