we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
