11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
