the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
