I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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