Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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