don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Terrible idea I love it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
