I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sorry my hands just texted you
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
