Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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