So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
