we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize