I think my vagina is haunted
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You need Xanax blowdarts
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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