I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
