Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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