Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
