Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
