I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
