Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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