I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
