where am i from again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
