**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I cut my penus on the lid.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize