I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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