just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
