fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
