using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you traded sex for a burrito?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
