You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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