You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it was like his penis was on wheels.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
