so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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