you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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