Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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