I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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