U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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