My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
