Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Enjoy the penises
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
