you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
