Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
