So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fuck appropriateness.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
