I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
