my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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