did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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