i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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