She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
