you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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