I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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