My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
