He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
