3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
