Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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