if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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